That's what I kept telling myself.
I took the kids to Costco (yes, Chara, Costco). I brought baby food, we did our shopping and headed to get hotdogs. Really, I love all of the people that stop to ask if the babies are twins. "Yes, their red hair is beautiful." "Yeah, she's a great big sister." "Yeah, my hands are full, but I wouldn't want it any other way." Or, to the jerk who said, "You poor lady." And actually meant it. "I love this." However, I typically have to add a good 45 minutes to my trips because of all of this. Today, I was tired and emotional for no good reason. So, after all of this chit-chat just to buy some applesauce, I get to fight through the little hot-dog line with the cart, because there is no way I'm leaving my kids somewhere while I pick up the food. Most everyone is stopping and talking about the kids, but some are just irritated because my cart is blocking the soda fountain. I don't generally like fizzy drinks, but every now and then, only a Coke will do. I had the checker put all the food in the bottom of the cart since Eszter was sitting in the back, with both babies up front. Eszter was in charge of the lunch. She had the hot-dogs. I filled up the drinks and set them in the cart with her, but underneath the babies against the side so they wouldn't get knocked over. I head out to find a place large enough for all of us in the sea of Costco lunchers. Naturally, at about the fifth stop of "What a beautiful family you have." Eszter spins around and knocks over my Coke. Somehow, she also managed to get the lid off. So, she's covered in icy coke, and so is ALL of the food underneath the cart. 32 lovely ounces of Coke EVERYWHERE. A thoughtful lady handed me a few napkins. I laughed and said I thought we were a little past napkins, but took them and did my best to mop up. Of course, this is when the tears are trying to come out. I just kept telling myself, "You can't have a public meltdown over spilled Coke, you just can't." So, here is my meltdown.
All in all, I wouldn't trade my kids and family for anything. But there are moments, over stupid things like Coke, I wonder what I am doing.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
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2 comments:
Oh Ashlee, I feel for you. Sometimes it's just the last straw. And I think any REAL mother in the vicinity would totally understand if you HAD burst into tears. Because, who hasn't been there?
I had a total anger breakdown last night just because I gave Judah two jellybeans and he wouldn't stop screaming, because I put them in his mouth and not his snack trap. How dare I? I had to go away and not talk to anyone for a while. You try to do something nice....
And the people stopping you thing...for a while it's cool and encouraging, but sometimes you just wanna be left alone. Especially by the people who want to have a ten minute conversation.
you are a much better person then i am..
i would use my costco cart to ram through people who wanted to stop and have a conversation.. that's what carts are for - it's like going to disney land with a stroller - sure it makes getting the kids around easier - but what it's really meant for is getting through crowds - people tend to get out of your way when your running over the backs of their feet..
and i think you can cry over spilt coke - i would - i might even say a bad word or two..
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